In Iceland the age of horses is measured in how many winters they have survived. Foals are always born in the spring and traditionally they live for the first 3-4 years in a herd kept outside for the whole year, like wild horses. Winters are harsh here and in the old days some of the horses did not survive the winter. That is very rare today and they get fed hay during the time when the earth is covered in snow and they cannot forage. But we still measure the age in winters instead of years. So if I want to know how old my friends horse is I ask how many winters it is, not how old it is.
In a few short weeks I´m turning 40. In some ways the thought is frightening, I know that many people fear death at this age, but what I think people are mostly afraid of is growing old. Our culture is obsessed with youth and especially women are bombarded with advertisements on everything from wrinkle creams and hair dye to cosmetic surgery, all telling us that turning older is bad and even worse is looking your age.
In my thirties I have often been told that I look younger than my actual age. I used to always feel flattered and thank people profusely for their kind comments on my looks. The only time it was a disadvantage was at work when pet owners were sceptical hearing me talk about my experiences in treating animals with a certain illness, since many assumed that I was only a recently graduated veterinarian because I looked young.
In the last couple of years I have noticed that I finally have started to look more my age. Some fine wrinkles have turned up around the eyes and in the beginning I was worried about getting older. In the past I always just used a 10$ face sun cream (I don´t care to spend a lot of money on cosmetics and have always been very sceptical about expensive skin creams that are supposed to make you look and feel younger, but really mostly serve to make your wallet lighter) as a face cream and it seemed to be fine but when I started noticing wrinkles at first I thouht to myself “oh, my god, I have ruined my skin with these cheap products!” I bought some expensive face creams and even one of those “wrinkle iron” contraptions in anticipation of using it every other day in an attempt to make them go away. I tried it and it really seems to work but to my own surprise I was not motivated to use it regularly. To my surprise I don´t dislike the little lines as much as I thought I would.
Now I am starting to feel that it is a good thing to look my age. I want people to see my experiences and know that I am a mature and capable person. Unlike some of my girlfriends I never want to go back to being 25. I like 39 much better, I feel more confident now and happier too. I don’t worry as much about the little things as I did before and I am starting to live my life the way I want and not the way that everyone else expects of me. Now I like my body, wrinkles, extra weight and all. I have discovered that I don´t need to be very skinny and covered in makeup for men to like me. And I don´t need everyone to like me either.
In all the languages I know so far, my native icelandic, danish and english (a little bit of german too) I get asked how old I am. Why, I am not old at all, well at least I don´t feel old. Even the children are assumed to be old by this manner of asking.
One of the things that I have been doing for myself in the past few years is to learn italan. As I learn I admire the beauty of the language, both the way it sounds and how it is used. In italian you don´t ask a person how old they are, but how many years they have: “quanti anni hai?” This seems much more logical and respectful. I have 39 years under my belt and each and every one of them has given me invaluable experiences. Therefore we should all be proud of the years we have and not try to hide or lie about our age. Don´t get my wrong, I´m not talking about not taking care of my skin or my appearance anymore, just worrying less and enjoying more. Don´t be afraid to put your real age out there, on your facebook profile and on that online dating site too!
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